


A blender, a massage wand, and a rabbit vibrator

by GuiltyPleasure1234



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Meeting the Parents, family holiday dinner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:54:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28618365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuiltyPleasure1234/pseuds/GuiltyPleasure1234
Summary: Seungyoun brings a hot pink rabbit vibrator to Wooseok's holiday dinner. He is so fucked, and not in a good way.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29
Collections: Challenge #8 — Ending with a Bang





	A blender, a massage wand, and a rabbit vibrator

**Author's Note:**

> Theme: home; Inspired by How I Met Your Mother season 2, ep 19 😆 Enjoy this late holiday-themed flash!! ❤️

It is Seungyoun’s first time meeting Wooseok’s parents and he is about to leave a terrible impression.

Well, perhaps not. Perhaps Wooseok’s parents are those progressive and sexually liberated ones who discuss sexual health candidly with their kids. Surely, they would understand! Seungyoun and Wooseok have been dating for a little over three years now and it’s normal for couples who cohabitate like them to gift each other things like _that._

“Seungyoun! Welcome! So so nice to meet you.” Wooseok’s mom gives him a hug. Okay! Maybe they _are_ those progressive parents! In fact, Korea is still pretty homophobic. The fact that they are so accepting of their relationship already speaks volume.

“Ah, so this is Seungyoun!” Wooseok’s dad slaps his shoulder in greetings. “Wooseok told us a lot about what a nice, upstanding young man you are. Graduated from law school at twenty-three and landed a swanky job within three months, I heard?”

Now, he did graduate in the spring and landed a job pretty quickly. If Seungyoun wasn’t mentally reeling from how the stupidest mistake he ever made could compromise his reputation as a ‘nice, upstanding young man,’ he would be giddy knowing Wooseok talked fondly about him.

“Oh! Is that for the gift exchange? Let me grab that for you—”

“NO.” Both of Wooseok’s parents flinch at the scream Seungyoun just let out. Behind them, a huddle of middle-school-aged kids, who must be Wooseok’s many nieces and nephews, shriek joyously in the way that children do in response to loud noises.

“What?”

His stomach flips when the content of the box rattles from being tugged between him and Wooseok’s mom.

“I—can I speak to Wooseok’s first?” He looks seconds from passing out, eyes darting and forehead dampening from perspiration.

“Wooseok ran to get more beer. Probably won’t be back until we begin eating.”

Wooseok does not get back until they are almost done with dinner, the roast duck now stripped bare and the metal ladle clanks as everyone drains the last bit of kimchi jjigae.

“Wooseok! What took you so long?” Wooseok’s youngest uncle slurs, a bottle of soju in mid-air overfilling Seungyoun’s glass.

Wooseok glances at his boyfriend shyly, enjoying how well Seungyoun fits in, “sorry everyone! I was stuck in traffic.” He pads over, bouncing in excitement. Warmth fills Seungyoun’s chest and for a moment, he forgets all about the Box of Doom ™ sitting atop the pile of gifts of various shapes and sizes. There is even one that looks identical to his, in the same reindeer-print wrapping paper.

“I see that you’ve all met Seungyoun.” Wooseok wraps an arm around his neck, “don’t bully him too much okay? Only _I_ can give him a hard time.” The whole table laughs heartily; Wooseok’s cousin Yohan, who is roughly their age, fake-vomits while complaining about how single he is.

“Seokie,” as the table disperses, Seungyoun pulls Wooseok aside.

They are freezing their asses off on the balcony now, Wooseok fortunately still in his wool coat from the beer run.

“Say that again?”

“I brought the wrong present.”

“What do you _mean_ wrong?”

“Well, this was supposed to be a surprise, so I guess, surprise! But, uh, I bought you two presents for Christmas, one to open at gift exchange, and the other one is something for us to enjoy later.” Seungyoun winks exaggeratedly for good measure.

“Which are...?”

“A Nutribullet blender and an extra-large hot-pink rabbit vibrator, respectively.”

“Oh god.”

“Yeah.”

Wooseok grits his teeth, “and you did not bring the blender.”

Okay, in Seungyoun’s defense, the store had a buy-one-get-one-free deal on wrapping paper, and they should have demarcated one box from the other more clearly!

“You brought a fucking vibrator to my family’s Christmas dinner?”

Seungyoun thinks he can see smoke coming out of Wooseok’s ears. He hangs his head in repentance.

“And it is going to be opened in front of my whole extended family and their guests?”

“…Correct.”

“…”

“If I give you an injury—”

“What??” Seungyoun blabbers, holding his arms up in self-defense.

“—maybe I can go hide the present while everyone fusses over you?”

“What the fuck!”

“Or just pretend to be hurt or something! You’re kind of a shit actor though!”

Okay now that is just unfair. How many times does he have to tell Wooseok that he isn’t _bad_? He just makes unique stylistic choices!

“Motherfucker… okay, watch me.” Seungyoun thinks back to that one acting class he took in college, preparing to dig up a childhood trauma for a believable performance. They are next to the pile of presents now, underneath the chandelier, the perfect spot to grab everybody’s attention. _One, two, thr—_

“Gather around, everyone! Grab yourself a slice of pie and pour a cup of tea. Time to open the presents,” chirps Wooseok’s mom.

_Shit shit shit too late._

The next moment is one Seungyoun will never be able to explain. Years from now, they will both sit on the front porch of Seungyoun’s family vacation home, vodka-spiked tea to their lips, exchanging stories with their rambunctious bunch—Hangyul and Seungwoo and Jinhyuk twisting their bodies every which way in laughter. Seungyoun will think back to this moment with mortification mixed with fondness.

“I’m so sorry, Yohan,” Wooseok mumbles under his breath before switching the cards on the two identical gift boxes: one containing Seungyoun’s hot pink vibrator and the other, Yohan’s massage wand for their 89-year-old grandmother.

Fondness for his boyfriend. Suddenly, Seungyoun feels kind of… turned on? Call Seungyoun a pervert but his boyfriend framing his cousin to save Seungyoun’s ass is so incredibly hot. This feels like the moment in superhero movies when the damsel in distress is saved and all is well once again. Wooseok seems to catch on to Seungyoun’s unspoken affection and snakes an arm around Seungyoun’s waist protectively, playful eyes sweeping Seungyoun’s flushed face.

“Let’s go watch Yohan explain why he bought grandma a hot-pink vibrator, babe.”

Lucky for them, massage wands are versatile after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading~ kudos and comments would make me super happy 👉👈 Feel free to come say hi on twt or cc @purplepastiche1!


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